One step closer...

I have to bear with having PVCs (Premature Ventricular Contractions) as a complication of the chickenpox that I had during my birthday. I was confined for a week because I couldn't breathe well specially when I am lying flat on my back.

Now this heart problem is getting in the way of my going abroad. How would I pass the pre-employment physical exam if they see PVCs on the ECG test? The doctor said it will take a while before this would heal. Around 6 months the most. Or never. I can't wait that long. I have been putting my plans on hold for the longest time. I dunno what God has in store for me but I really would like to leave the country and practice nursing. I just feel so depressed. I can't even take a long vacation from my current job. I was planning on going to the US for a month but I don't think my current job would allow me. So much for having my tourist visa renewed. Or maybe I should just resign?

For me, leaving my current job is the last thing on my mind. I got so used to the work, the time of the work and most of all the people around me. I don't like to leave if I'll just be doing nothing. I'd rather make the most of myself and stay put in my current job.

Sometimes I just feel sorry for myself. I feel like I'm getting older and I'm having no direction in life. I don't want to be forever reliable on my parents. I want to feel that I have made something of myself.